1969-1972
Berkeley Square – A
Penthouse
Child to Teenager
13 Years Old to 16 Years Old - Some
Details
The years transitioning from child, to
adolescence and then young adult are packed with detail and experience. This
was no less true for me than for any other. But, as I have explained earlier, the
purpose of this dialogue is to capture those events in perpetuity, but not
necessarily in grinding detail. This
notion of writing an autobiography was prompted by the dawning realisation
later in my life that I had never asked my parents to tell me in detail of
their lives and that they had never recorded it.
I have in my previous narrative set the
scene – its 1969 and I am now 13 years old and living in a Penthouse in
Berkeley Square in London. My Father is 49 years old, my Mother 46 years old,
and my Sister 17 years old. I am attending a large all boys north London
Comprehensive. At 13yrs I am a little overweight for my age, shy, and just a little
alternative. By 16 I was a good looking young man, no longer shy, but still "different".
The secondary school that I attend,
Quintin Kynaston, features large in my memories. It was cut from the mould of
the large secondary moderns of that time.
Two thousand boys from all possible
backgrounds, representing the diversity of the central and north London
population. There was strict discipline; I remember being caned across the hand
and bottom on more than one occasion for minor transgressions. There were memorable teachers, some fearsome,
others timid. There were lessons, and homework, and playtime. And journeys too
and from school and home. There were friendships that came and went. It was a
time of great discovery, music, literature, sex, love. Good gracious I even
learnt to smoke at the tender age of 15 – well everyone else did....!!!
The world was SO exciting – there were
Hippies, and Music the such of like had never been heard of before. There was a
youth revolution, and we were sure the world was going to be so different for our
generation. There was new technology that was going to transform our world we
hoped. There were exciting new rebellions, we would try the new wave drugs (so
we believed) that we would experiment with in our brave new world – hash,
speed, blues and mescaline.
With the benefit of hindsight we were
young and stupid – but we were no different from the generations that came
before or after us. We just believed that we were going to be different – as
all youth always believes – because they are the FUTURE.
Meet Peter and understand true
friendship
Peter Searle – the son of a Senior
Police officer – living in Hyde Park Police Station. I met Peter in our second
year of secondary school. We were in the same Form Group – sat next to each
other, and discovered we were the best of friends. We thought the same, had the
same sense of slightly offbeat humour, and we could talk for hours about the
things that boys of that age talk about. We travelled to School together and
back for 5 years. We grew up together, shared our imagined failures and
successes. We gathered about us a group of like minded friends of our age, boys
and girls. We shared our secrets, our love of music and Theatre, we swam
together in the Serpentine Lido, we matured, gossiped, laughed – we were in
every sense brothers. And of course Peter would come out as a gay man, dramatically at a party - and we laughed "Yes Pete - we had kinda guessed that already". It mattered not at all – if anything it strengthened that platonic bond.
I have narrated elsewhere the antics of Wendy
House – Pete’s brilliant alternative to the “School Fraternity Houses”. We, the mottley random boys and girls of Wendy House laughed and camped our way through Central London, through Soho and Mayfair,
outraging the imagined establishment in our minds. We put on School Plays
(brave in a rough North London Boys Comprehensive), we went to Theatre Clubs,
watched free Rock concerts in Hyde Park, we dreamed together, sang
together. We lost our innocence
together, we discovered adulthood together. Peter was loved by my parents, by
my sister. He became the 3rd child, entering my family with an easy
grace. Peter – my brother.....
Baltic and Mediterranean cruise
The School arranged annual Educational
Cruises, around the Baltic and / or Mediterranean. I was to go on two of these
Cruises, each for the sum of £49. This was a small fortune to my parents, but
each week over the requisite number I would take a predetermined sum to the
School in a small brown envelope.
I remember these cruises vividly. I was
13 and 14 years old. The first, the Baltic cruise had us sail from Tilbury on
the soviet cruise ship Baltika. We visited Stockholm, Oslo, Helsinki, Leningrad
(as it was then), and Copenhagen. The teacher escort allowed us freedoms to
roam the ships decks, and spend hours watching the sea and great ports that we
sailed in and out of. Leningrad was fascinating, still the USSR, and the Winter
Palace was resplendent.
The Mediterranean was cruise followed a
year later. A train across Europe and we sailed on the Cruise ship Caribia.
From Genoa we visited Capri (and were in awe of the Blur Grotto), Palermo,
Barcelona, Tunis, Palma. Our visit to Palma beach, in blazing sunshine, with a
warm blue sea, lasted for hours. The only downside to this was a night in the
ships hospital with some of the worst sunburn I have ever had.
The immortal creation of Wendy
House
I have to note, acknowledge, indulge and
inwardly smile at the activity of “Wendy House” - and explain how it began, and
how it led to a group of young men and women camping their way across central
London.
My School (Quintin
Kynaston) had the predictable "House" structure (Churchill House,
Armstrong House etc ad nauseam) into which we were all supposed to devote our
enthusiasms to gain points and get school awards. In a moment of brilliance
Peter introduced a new House - Wendy House! The membership of Wendy House was
exclusive and the very mention of its name outraged the Teachers with less than
liberal attitudes.
Learn the meaning of ‘Camp’ - Loved
it
Camp is a social, cultural, and aesthetic style and
sensibility based on deliberate and self-acknowledged theatricality.
Let’s face it – you either “get” Camp or
you don’t. Your either delighted by Lilly Savage (Paul OGrady), Danny La Rue,
John Inman (I’m Free) – or you don’t understand why it’s so gloriously funny. My long term partner, my second wife (Janet)
gets it... The members of Wendy House instinctively understood “Camp” and
revelled in it unapologetically – often outraging those around us. Curiously, my parents sort of “got” it – and with
credit to their everlasting understanding and love knew that their son was just
a little “eccentric”.
Develop a lifelong love of
Musicals and Old Movies
For example, I loved Hollywood Musicals.
On endless Sundays my parents would dose in the late afternoon in front of the
TV whilst I watched, entranced, by South Pacific, Singing in the Rain, Calamity
Jane – the list could go on forever.... It’s a Wonderful Life captivated me and
the African Queen was simply perfect. It was this media that defined my
developing adult personality.
I Discover and Obsess over Sex
Well didn’t we all! You hardly need to know the details of my sexual awakening, but I like everyone had one. And this was at the time of a great sexual revolution. Contraception had liberated women, promiscuity was increasingly tolerated, and homosexuality was not only actually acknowledged, but also legalised. It was into this culture and social order that I and my friends would emerge as young sexually active adults. I have no intention of indulging all the minor “affairs”, hearts broke, and love won and lost at that time – suffice it to say that it was all very complicated, frivolous and superficial.
Physically Bisexual, Emotionally Heterosexual, Personally Eccentric
I must be true and honest to my Life Diary - this is after all the story of my life - I have nothing to hide. It was clear from my maturing that I was in many ways a complex young adult. The description that follows is one that has only been fully reconciled after many years of reflection. It was clear that from a simple physical perspective I was Bisexual, or if you prefer relatively indifferent as to whom I was sexually active with. I admit entirely to losing my virginity to a man who picked me up one night in Piccadilly Circus!
However, I was to discover quickly that I was emotionally heterosexual. Emotional relationships and attachments were something I could only engage with women. In other words I could not “love” a man in a physical relationship. This personal eccentricity of desires led to the strong bond I would form in life with many friends and partners.
I am now 16 years old.... And there is still so much more to come.
